When you’re into a person, a lot of your time and energy becomes absorbed with them. This happens even when we’re away from the person, like when deciding whether or not to contact someone.

This starts the relationship off on an odd foot. Rather than going with the flow and letting things develop naturally, you’re unintentionally manipulating communication so that the person wants to keep seeing you.

If you’re in this dilemma – don’t worry. We’ve created a guide to answering the question “should I call her?” and any other concerns you may have.

Should I Call Her or Text Her to Ask for a First Date?

Back in the day, neither of these options were available.

Now, we have the ability to call or text to ask someone out. Which of these is the best option?

There are pros and cons to both. With texting, it allows each person the time to craft a thoughtful response. However, it’s impossible to read the non-verbal cues and really gauge the energy behind the words.

When you call, it’s more direct and as a result, makes you seem more mature. It also allows you to gauge her response and starts your communication off on a good note.

While calling takes more courage, it’s a better choice to make a good first impression. be sure to include a time, place, and activity when you ask so that she knows what she’s getting into.

Perhaps you have a special lady in mind to ask. If you don’t but still want to date, consider using a site like LiveTalk to meet someone new.

Once you’ve asked her (and if she says yes), refrain from reaching out until your date. This will keep things fresh and exciting for your first romantic time out together. You can send a message to confirm that the date is still on, but aside from that, wait to talk until you’re together.

How Should Communication Go After the First Date?

Assuming your first date went well, it’s always a nice gesture to thank them and tell them you had a great time.

You can do this over text or phone call. When you do, it’s a great opportunity to ask them on a second date.

Try to limit the amount that you’re talking digitally until things develop more. This will allow things to establish and continue to be exciting.

Talking too much before you know each other can lead to feelings of over-dependence as well as opportunities for miscommunications. So, even if you’re excited to get to know the gal, hold off so that you can do it in person.

How Often Should I Communicate With Her as the Relationship Grows?

If you two continue to date, it’s a wise move to have a conversation about expectations.

Then, you can talk about what each person wants and needs. It’s a great time to outline if you’ll be exclusive, what boundaries each person has, and expectations around communication.

Together you can agree on the frequency and type of contact that’s preferred. It’s different for everyone – don’t let dating sites fool you.

Along with that, try to keep your communication authentic and honest. Playing it “cool” and showing less interest than you actually have isn’t a great way to start a relationship. Instead, you should express how you actually feel along the way while still allowing the space between you to grow sexual tension and interest.

In general, it’s healthy to talk to each other virtually when you have something exciting to tell them, to plan to get together, and to check-in periodically to see how they’re doing and what’s going on in their life.

However, there are times when you should refrain from talking to her, even if you want to.

When Should I Refrain from Talking to Her?

These tips are applicable whether you’re in a new or long-time relationship.

You want communication between the two of you to stay positive and interesting when you’re apart. If any issues come up, you should reach out to plan a time to talk face-to-face rather than hashing it out on the phone or over text.

It’s also important to notice the dynamics of the relationship. If you’re the only one reaching out and you’re doing it often, consider cutting back. There should be an equal give and take.

When there isn’t, it can indicate that the frequency of communication isn’t equally enjoyed.

Whenever you’re reaching out to the special lady, try to be honest with yourself. Ask, “why am I reaching out?” Sometimes we’re fishing for information, more attention, or are wanting to dump our lives onto someone else.

This never leads to a good place. To prevent that, be sure to only communicate when it’s mutually beneficial. If you need something that you aren’t getting enough of, like support or attention, voice your concerns so that you can be direct.

Do These Tips Apply to Long-Distance Relationships?

While these tips do apply to long-distance situations, there are some additional things to keep in mind.

When you’re apart, virtual communication is the only way that you can stay in touch. It’s much more important to keep your bond and to grow your love than it is in local relationships.

However, you should still talk to each other and make a plan for how often you’ll communicate. This will allow you to see eye-to-eye and continue having a healthy, loving relationship.

It’s also important in long-distance relationships to keep things positive and continue living your life fully. Conversations can become dull if you’re talking to each other 24/7 or only focusing on how sad it is to be apart.

By keeping it positive and having a life of your own, you’ll have more to talk about and it will feel better in general.

Be Thoughtful and Keep It Natural

With these tips, you can answer the question “should I call her?” and any others you may have had.

Read the signs from her, have an open conversation about expectations surrounding communication, and limit virtual contact to keep things fresh.

Keep reading our blog for more relationship and life advice.