Online dating is not for everyone, but it has the advantage of making contact with many men you NEVER would have known in real life. You can send and receive messages at any time of the day and without even having to dress up. And even when you write, your profile meets new men for you 😉
Therefore, if you want to try online dating, use these rules to get to know someone sensible:
1. Use many dating sites. Start with a few large, public dating sites (such as Sympatia, Badoo, Tinder), as well as a few that can focus on your specific interests. Or, search for example, “vegetarians dating site”, “conservative Christians dating site”, “single parent dating”, “passionate UFO dating site” 😉 etc.. It’s worth logging in and find out what the service has to offer. Sympatia is considered to be a slightly more casual dating site, while Tinder is associated with quicker dates and short friendships.
2. Description in the profile. I’ve heard that long descriptions on the profile are not convertible. But in turn very short descriptions do not give men anything to go on in a conversation. They do not give a clear point of hitching to start a conversation with a woman. These men do most often the first step, so let it not be a torment for them, because you’ll get the same tests like “hey, siema, I do not know what to write because you do not have anything in profile, blah blah blah”. Let your description consists of a few funny sentences about you. A bit of feminine mystery will certainly not hurt, so don’t write a great essay. If a coworker or friend knows that you are on a dating site, don’t worry about it. It’s no sin that you’re on a dating site.
3. Post some photos (not one). Don’t be shy. This is the twenty first century and nobody should be ashamed of using the Internet this way. Men are mainly visuals, so if you give a blur, only a small part of the body, they will not even notice that you are on this site. And if you don’t have a profile picture, forget about meeting anyone. Blind dates have gone away from the twentieth century. Your photo is supposed to attract men to you, not repel you.
Men see your pictures and make an initial assessment of your character. They will write completely differently to a woman who emphasizes: a boy, an intellectual, party girl, fitness girl, etc. Types of messages received that are sent by men differ significantly, depending on the version of the profile. Men suggest a photo that they see on a woman’s profile rather than what you really have in your description. Probably not a novelty for you.
Therefore, put a few pictures, eg 5. For many men, profiles with one picture are false, especially if the photo is particularly attractive and looks professional, even scanned from the newspaper. You probably know which of your photos are the most flattering, but if you want to experiment, send some of them to the hotornot portal, where the photos are evaluated. You will find out how men rate them. Your friends, or people you don’t know, can judge you differently. Using a weak profile picture is shooting yourself in the foot. Inserting a higher rated photo on your profile will increase the number of men who will write to you. This can stab your ego, because you think you look great on another photo. But trust the assessment of others.
Contrary to appearances, you do not have to show a lot of naked body to get the attention of a man. You can convey sexuality and sexual attraction also through photos in the right outfit. If you have a great body and want to show it, but you don’t want a man to assume that your body is everything, add a bikini photo as one of many and not the only or the main picture. Even better, if you show some activity on the photo, for example you play beach volleyball, you keep the fins in your hand. It’s better than a pic on a lounger or posing for a phone on the beach. Some guys will be delighted with your body, others will ignore your sexy picture, because they will think that you are an empty seeker of attention, a princess of the instagram and will not want to meet you. Question: what man are you looking for? It’s your choice.
4. Be realistic, do not expect a poem in the first message. On most portals you will get 1-2 sentences in the first message from a man. Often it will be “copy and paste” messages. Why? Because a very small percentage of women are written off, so the guys learn that it is not worth to study each profile, invest time, and it is more convenient to send wholesale spam, possibly slightly modified for a given woman. They also don’t know if you are a real person. Many dating sites, to make more money on male users, create a mass of artificial profiles. It was loud on the internet some time ago. Competitive dating sites or service vendors create false profiles with pictures of attractive women, and then hired high school students to send automatic responses to men, for example: “Hey honey, I’m rarely here, but see me on the XYZ website.”
Therefore, be forgiving and do not assume at once that the man is stupid and not serious, because his first message does not refer to anything you wrote about yourself on your profile. Give him a chance if you like him. But if his second and subsequent message also does not bring anything, give him peace of mind.
5. Be available “locally”. Dating sites associate users from all over world. Narrow your search criteria to your city, or (if small) to 20-30 km. Of course, distance relations can work. But seriously, do you really want to write with a guy who lives 300 km from you? Is this the best way to spend your free time? Don’t waste time on such virtual connections. During this time, you can write with someone you can realistically know. And then meet.
6. The first meeting should always take place somewhere in a public place. There is no appeal from this.
7. Take care of your privacy. Sending sexy pics these days is not anything special anymore. If you do this, don’t send such photos that can identify you. You never know if there is a blackmailer on the other side. Similarly with instant messaging.
If you’re only looking for an adventure, discovering your intimate secrets to someone you don’t know will not be a problem. But if you are looking for a relationship, things are different. You don’t want to discover yourself too quickly before you can come to a meeting in the real world.
8. Be honest, within the limits. Some women subtract from age, weight or use an old and out-of-date picture in their profile. Well, everyone wants to present themselves better. This tactic works, but what will happen when it finally comes to the first meeting? I did not hear any such story that ended well. I cannot imagine that after such a meeting, the boy said “Although it did not look like the picture and description, I decided to give it a chance and it turned out to be so amazing that we started to meet”. I’m sorry.
Don’t be offended if you put one picture, eg only face, and the guy asks for a different photo. He probably wants to see you in full glory and see if your silhouette is attractive to him. These days you have nothing to be offended for. Too many men have been picked up by girls who put in no more photos or hide a lot of overweight.
9. Trust your intuition. Men also lie in profiles, just like women do. He may be fifteen years older, thicker and married than his profile says. A good test is to talk to him on the phone before you meet. Listen to the voice of your intuition. Making such a conversation with him in the morning may be a bad sign. Which guy can not talk on the phone in the evening?
10. When you are ready to meet him, he should be able to do it within a few days max. If not, nine times out of ten, something is not playing here. Maybe he is someone other than on the profile, maybe he is married, maybe 17 years old, maybe he lives hundreds of kilometers away.