By the time you’re ready for a divorce, you’ve probably already gone through all the pros and cons. You may be ready for the fact that it’s necessary. But emotionally and physically, it can be a tiring process.

No matter what the reason for the divorce is, if you’re planning on getting one, there are a few things you need to prepare to deal with.

Of course, the emotional fallout is going to affect more than just you and your spouse. Beyond that, make sure you plan for these five logistical concerns.

The 5 Frequently Overlooked Aspects of Divorce

Divorce has been around in some form or another for millennia. Using thousands of years of studies and statistics, we can solidly say that even the most sensible people forget these five key points during and after a divorce:

1. It’s not a battle to be won. Once the divorce papers are filed, some spouses enter a mindset where it’s them against their soon-to-be ex. This isn’t the case.

Lawmanaging experts suggest that you both use this time as a chance to create the foundation of the best possible lives for both of you and your family. The division between you two will naturally occur with the legal divorce. It doesn’t have to become a mental battle amongst family and friends, too.

2. You don’t get the final say. The courts do. When it comes to splitting up your valuables, there are laws that must be followed. If both parties are agreeable with how to handle assets and custody issues, the judge will listen to your thoughts. Ultimately, though, the courts will make their final decisions based on what is fair to all sides.

3. Counseling doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Talking to a mental health expert is highly suggested during any serious transitions in life. Divorce is one of the biggest stressors on an individual person.

If you have the opportunity, talk to a counselor, even if you think you’re okay. Get your children in to see one, too. You’ll all be able to speak your thoughts, vent, and get the mental tools to handle your daily emotions now and in the future.

4. Mediation is a smart alternative. If you can get past the battle-mentality, mediation saves time, money, and stress. It’s an alternative to a long, drawn-out court trial in which both sides compromise in everyone’s best interest.

Some people see a mediation settlement as giving in to the other side’s demands. Instead, look at it as a smart way for everyone, including your friends and family, to get on with their lives sooner.

5. No one knows the whole story. There are two sides to every argument, and not everyone is going to see your side. You may lose friends and family members during this time. While it’s going to hurt, it’s okay.

When the emotions settle down and the divorce is final, you can choose to reach out to heal the wounds then, or they may reach out to you. Sometimes the wound is never healed. Remember that it will only be worse if you fight back.

Divorce is Final, But the Process is Temporary

There’s no denying that going through a divorce process is painful. But keep in mind that you’re aiming for a permanent situation through a temporary time.

The emotions are going to be raw, but how you act during this period will determine whether the fallout is painful and long-term or easier to get over for everyone.