How familiar are you with those moments when you can’t:
Well, people say, life doesn’t stop for anyone and it has a continuous cycle that never pauses for anyone or anything. Still, sometimes in our lives we come at a point where we get stuck and fail to move ahead. That may not mean practically which is why, we may seem to be talking, eating, sleeping and in some cases even doing important chores. But we actually get stuck in terms of our thinking pattern.
Let me make this situation even more comprehensible for you by asking a simple question. Have you ever come at a turn in your life where you can’t get one person or his sentences out of your mind? Where you find yourself continuously thinking about ‘just him or her’? Your answer I am sure will be: ‘Yes’. He/she could be your lover, your spouse, your ideal, your inspiration or even in an unfortunate case a person who hurt you badly physically or emotionally.
Why does it happen? A well researched answer is that it is because of our toxic cyclical thinking process because of which we can’t push a person or situation out of our mind. And even though it sometimes hurt us, we still keep reliving those thoughts in our minds over and over again. This even harms our hormones and is highly harmful for our mind but our thoughts seem to be in no control. This is also declared to be one major cause of depression.
To be able to stop this continuous thinking pattern about someone, you need to ponder or figure out why you are thinking about that particular person or situation so much. It is important to know this detail because only then you can deviate your mind from it. For instance, are you embarrassed of a situation and thus you can’t take it out of your mind or is this about a particular person that you have fallen for, or about a person, friend or relative who actually have hurt you so much. Whatever is the reason of missing that person or reliving those moments needs to be acknowledged at the first step.
After figuring out the reason, you can now follow more tactics to help you stop thinking about a person from our below mentioned, few of the easy but useful tactics or hacks:
First of all, you need to stop contacting the person who has hurt you or who is an unattainable love of yours. Remind yourself time and time again that you are trying to move on and stop thinking about him. Don’t call him, meet him or even bump into him by chance. Alter your ways, if you have a common path or place.
Another thing that can help you, especially if the person you are trying to stop thinking about is your ex-lover or partner, is to focus on his negative habits. The things that actually turn you off or push you away from him. You need to focus on this side of his more often to help you stop thinking about him altogether.
The best method to recover from any depression, damage, loss or even a stubborn thinking pattern about someone is to entertain yourself. Treat yourself with a funny movie, a comedy theatre or a night out with your old friends. The more entertained you are the less time you will spend with these thoughts.
If you really wish to get rid of your thoughts about someone or to actually stop reliving past moments then you need to look up for some more time, energy and effort utilizing chores, habits or tasks for yourself which could keep you busy enough that you may only think about the tasks at hand and nothing more.
The most important thing is to stop trailing or stalking him as to find out how is he dealing with life without you, or what’s going on in his life. You need not gather this information as you have to move on and push his thoughts out of your mind. So, the less information you have about them the easy it would get to follow new routines.
The most useful tip is to indulge yourself into several hobbies. Pursue your old friends and roam around with them, join different interest groups, spend time watching movies, gardening, sewing, baking or anything that you are passionate about. Spend more time in reading or exercising so you actually learn something out of your hobby and then ponder on to it or make your mind and body healthy with useful exercise or yoga instead of thinking about the same thoughts or person.
Another of a tactic is to go for a holiday. This will act as the distraction you need to stop thinking about him or her. Better plan for a place where you have never been before so that you could get engrossed in studying and preparing about the country you know nothing about. The time you have before the trip begins will be spent in gathering more details about the place and once you have made the journey, you will be busy in roaming about and exploring the new country which will help you immensely in getting rid of your particular thoughts.
To ask you to delete the person you want to stop thinking about, from entire social media is not possible, as the social media is a network which acts like a connected web. Even if you have deleted the person, he will come across your feed in a day or two because someone else liked, posted or shared his stuff. And this way you will again fall into your cyclic thinking about him. So it’s better if you avoid social media altogether for a while till you are done with these thoughts and are willing mentally and emotionally to move further away from him. Also, there are numerous mediums that are socially active and it is nearly impossible to block a person from each and everywhere but avoiding the use of these mediums is not as tough as you can keep yourself busy in other hobbies or activities.
One way to jerk yourself out of these thoughts that are binding you is to stay in the present time. Obviously you keep thinking about the person or the time spent with him that is in the past which actually makes you poor in your performance in everything that is going on in your current time, be it your studies, work or even chores and responsibilities. You will keep forgetting the deadlines and timelines because you are thinking about the past. So focus hard and push yourself to think every second about your present. Make a ‘to do list’ or even put small deadlines alarms so to push yourself to finish each task in the allotted time.
If you are sitting idle you are bound to fall prey to your thoughts. Get active for the benefit of your society, community and even humanity. When you will be able to benefit a human being, you will feel great about yourself and your life. The value of your life and its worth will enhance and you will become so involved that nothing else would matter to you as much as the unfortunate or helpless people around your community or the globe. The feeling that one has when he/she helps the needy is beyond words. You will feel so powerful and strong and would not waste your time in thinking about the past people or incidents.
If you are a person who is an introvert and doesn’t like to mix up with people or go out in public then the best tip to help you stop thinking about someone is to jot down everything on a piece of paper. Make a habit of writing a daily diary in which you must write all the things you have done in a day. It will not only give you a sense of purpose but will also help you stay focus on your every passing day. You can even push yourself to write or come up with a piece of poetry or a tiny tell tale every day. This way, you will be focusing on the story line more than wasting your time on the thoughts of a person. This activity will also tire you enough mentally that you will stay healthy and sleep well at night.
The last tip is to accept your thoughts about the person you love or hate and acknowledge the fact that you are hurt or expected much. This way, your mind and heart will stop fighting and in result will not keep on pondering on all the tiny details about the person. After acceptance, you must give it some time which means you do not have to be so hard on yourself rather you must give the whole incident some good grace period and meanwhile try to cope up with your daily routine and eventually you will emerge out of this phase.
Losing a loved one can bring about many unexpected alterations and challenges that you need to face. One essential part… Read More