For most of your adult life perhaps you have always been a party of two. Now you wake up finding yourself a party of one and you have no idea where to start or how to find yourself again.
This may be of no fault of your own or perhaps it was your choice that made it happen, either way you have to begin again and are not really sure where you need to start to make the best things happen for you. Take your time and breathe. Don’t let your new status define you, instead embrace it and begin again, after all you really don’t have a choice now.
Up to now you may not have been the part of the relationship that handled everything so you have to start at point A and progress forward. First, you should look at your finances and personal file. Pull your credit. See if you indeed have been standing on your own two feet or leaning on your partner through life. If your name was first on the bills or perhaps alone on the bills then you may already have credit which will make this process a lot simpler, but if you find that you were not even listed on the phone bill then it’s time to make a change. Do the research about yourself and then move on down the ladder to B, C, then D. Set up the necessities, which may require a possible deposit or filling out an application that you have never had to do alone before. It really is as simple as you allow it to be so embrace the change and just do it.
If you were unfortunate and had a partner who really did not pay attention to what he or she was signing or doing you may have incurred an unfavorable credit rating that you never knew existed. There may be credit cards or loans that you are now responsible for and have to repay, to no fault of your own. Moving forward again, just embrace it and this time do it with insight and knowledge of what you are taking the loan out for and what type of loan you have to get.
You may have ended the relationship with all the possessions but none of the real things you need like a credit card in your name or even credit built for yourself. Don’t let the same mistakes happen again. You may only be on your own for a short time if that is what you choose, but next time you enter into a relationship you know more than you knew last time and can do things right this time. Smart and simple.
Change everything back to you and not us. Find out the simplest way to create your own identity and build on that. If you are use to a lifestyle that you now cannot afford then adjust and be ok with it until you can make it better.
It really won’t take long, but you have to start and start smart, that way it will only be a short period of time before you can get back to what you were used to and get back to that status again. Rebuilding or building, either way it’s a new journey so make the most of it.
Finally don’t hold everything in. Friends may have not sided with you when the end happened, this is not time to be alone. There is always one, maybe a childhood friend or co-worker but there is one who will listen and help you with your new journey. Talking to someone who understands and or has been there will help and make it easier for you personally. Don’t shut out the world because of change, instead embrace it – you need it now more than ever.
Last let go. Memories are made to be treasured not hauntings so don’t forget what got you here either being something that you enjoyed or just something that happened out of habit. Now is the time to move on. Life is a simple road, really it is, so don’t be steamrolled any more. The change has happened, the chips have fell and here you are. Take baby steps and smile along the way. You are an amazing person, it’s time to show the world you can still be you even if you didn’t want to, you may even surprise yourself along the new journey and become what you always wanted to be.
