When you’ve put time, effort, and energy into loving someone and developing a relationship with them, you expect it to last a lifetime. So, it’s only natural that if things don’t go as planned, that you’d be psychologically impacted by it all. Divorce or the break-up of a long-term relationship is often compared to losing a loved one to death. The only difference is the person is still here (just no longer married or involved with you). That can be a tough pill to swallow and it affects more than just your wallet and daily routines.
Whether you’re the one who decided it was time to leave the relationship, your partner unknowingly told you they wanted out, or the two of you decided together that things just weren’t healthy anymore, grieving the loss of something that was once near and dear to you will challenge you in ways you never imagined. Though it hurts bad and the healing won’t happen overnight, here are some solutions to emotionally coping with a divorce:
Watch What You Turn to
It’s human nature to want to find instant comfort to unexplainable emotional pain. However, some sources of “relief” are temporary and do more harm than good. After a bad break-up, there are certain things you should not turn to for comfort or to numb the pain. This includes jumping into another relationship, gorging on junk food, drinking alcohol, or using drugs. These are all unhealthy for you and won’t help you deal with the underlying hurt. If you’ve become addicted to food, drugs, or alcohol, the first thing you need to do is find a drug rehab addiction treatment centers in Los Angeles or wherever you live for treatment.
Get Help and Support
Time alone may be what you need for a while, but too much isolation can result in substance abuse and even mental illness as you become more trapped in your thoughts. During this time getting support from family, friends, and even professional therapists are recommended to get you through. While your family and friends are great for providing a listening ear, shoulder to cry on, or fun distraction, a therapist can help you deal with your emotions and helping you to find your new normal.
Maintain a Routine
Believe it or not, routines can help with emotional stability. When it seems like every other aspect of your life is in disarray, it’s your routines that provide some normalcy. If your routine included your ex, obviously, you’ll have to make some changes, but stick to it. Get up and exercise every morning, have a good breakfast, get the kids to school, get to work, and complete any other activities just as you normally would. If you need a helping hand, remember to call on friends and family. They can get the kids for you or volunteer wherever your ex-partner may have usually pitched in.
Find a New Hobby
Again, you need some downtime and time to yourself, but too much of it can drive you insane. You can start emotionally recovering from your divorce by delving into a new hobby or interest. This is your chance to reclaim the identity you lost while married and/or to create a new one. Whether you try painting, writing, hiking, photography, dancing, or sewing, there’s something about engaging in something new and exciting that can take your mind off your troubles and make you feel empowered and encouraged about what lies ahead.
Treat Yourself to a Little TLC
There’s so much to do following a divorce, but your priority has to be yourself. Don’t overlook the importance of self-care at this time. Treat yourself to a tasty lunch, massage, go for a walk outside, buy yourself something inexpensive but meaningful, take a nice bath, or watch a movie that makes you smile. Constantly do things that make you feel good – even at times, you don’t feel like it.
Going through a divorce or breaking up with someone you’ve been with for a long time is never easy. No matter what the reason for the breakup or who made the final decision, you have essentially lost someone you once (and likely still do in some ways) care about. With all the madness that tends to follow a breakup, it is imperative that you don’t overlook the importance of taking care of yourself physically and mentally. Healing will take time, but with the tips advised above, the road will be a lot easier to manage.