Whether you’re a consenting single adult or a long-term committed couple, sex is an intricate part of your happiness. It’s how you share intimacy and compassion and connect with your partner. A healthy sex life also boosts your immune system, burns calories, lowers blood pressure, enhances sleep, and even reduces stress. So, when things start to go wrong in your sex life, it’s only natural to want to resolve the issue immediately.

Believe it or not, many external and internal factors contribute to someone having a healthy sex life. If you’re having trouble, the most efficient solution is to visit a gynecologist or urologist for further evaluation and treatment. In the meantime, let’s look at some of the underlying issues that could be putting a monkey wrench in your sex life.


When you’ve been with the same partner for years or simply don’t have much sexual experience, the bedroom can get downright boring. After a while, these things no longer interest you, making it difficult to have a good time with your partner.

Fortunately, there are plenty of opportunities to spice up your sex life. You can try a bit of self-exploration with toys, learn new positions, role play, and so much more. Step outside of your comfort zone, get spontaneous and communicate with your partner so you can determine which activities get you in the mood.


Although sex can be a great stress reliever, too much stress can have an adverse effect on your sex life. When external factors like your home, job, relationships, or finances get overwhelming, cortisol levels increase. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can trigger anxiety, decrease blood flow, lower testosterone levels, and decrease your libido.

If you’ve been under a lot of stress lately, it’s essential to make some changes to improve your mood. You can develop routines to simplify your home and work life, enlist help from others to lighten your load, or eliminate toxic relationships to reduce stress. Also, learning stress coping mechanisms like meditation, exercise, self-care, massages, and other activities can lower those cortisol levels and improve your libido.

Mismanaged or Undiagnosed Health Problems

There are specific medical issues that can cause problems with your sexual health. For instance, an untreated sexually transmitted disease can result in complications during sex. Similarly, reproductive conditions ranging from endometriosis to incontinence can make sex painful, if not simply embarrassing.

If you have an existing medical condition, ensure that you’re following your doctor’s advice on treatment to keep symptoms under control. If you’re showing signs of sexual health problems, immediately schedule an appointment with your doctor, gynecologist, or urologist for blood work, STI screenings, and other procedures to properly diagnose and treat your condition.

Past Sexual Trauma

Sex is supposed to be a positive occurrence between two consenting adults; however, that’s not always the case. Millions of adults and children report being sexually abused in their past. When sex is used in a manner to enforce power and control over you, it makes it difficult to enjoy it in the future.

If you’ve been the victim of sexual abuse, get help. No matter how many years ago the act took place, the encounter can still have a negative impact on you emotionally. Talking with a therapist, support group, or even a close relative or friend can help you get past those unfavorable feelings. Sharing your feelings and learning from others over time can help you create new positive experiences.

If your sex life is monotonous, non-existent, painful, or traumatic, perhaps one of the above underlying issues is a factor. Evaluate your life and your physical and emotional well-being to get a better idea of what’s happening. If necessary, reach out to your doctor, gynecologist, or urologist for further assistance. Then, develop a strategy to eliminate or resolve the underlying causes so that you can get back to enjoying intimacy in its highest form.